TOP TIPS – Preparing for a meeting.

Listen to this

Welcome to our first mid-month blog. Every so often we will be posting ‘incidental’ blogs in addition to our main monthly ones . In these we may bring current news to your attention, or provide some tips and advice that we hope you will find useful.

Perhaps you have a meeting coming up to discuss your child / young person who is struggling and not sure how to approach it? Or you find yourself getting upset, anxious or even cross at the thought of the meeting? Here are a few tips taken from our own leaflet ‘Communicating with Professionals’ as well as a few helpful questions that you may want to ask.

Plan in advance

It is
helpful to plan ahead for any meeting. You could:

• Make
  sure you and those invited to the meeting are clear as to why the meeting is
  happening including how much time is needed or being given
• Think
  about the outcome(s) you would like from the meeting and the questions you want
  to ask or the points you want to raise. Make a note of these to take with you
  to act as a reminder.
• Think
  about how you might raise any concerns without being confrontational – see some
  examples below.
• Take
  your partner / friend / family member with you for moral support. They may also
  be able to help you to keep track of your questions and may help you to write
  down anything that is said in response to your questions. Do let the
  professional who has organised the meeting that someone else will be attending
  with you so there are no surprises.
• Make
  sure any paperwork that you need is sorted and easy to find.
• Take
  paper and pen so that you can refer to what you wanted to ask and write down
  anything that will be done as an outcome or an action and who is going to carry
  that out and when

During the meeting:

• Ask
  to be introduced to anyone at the meeting that you don’t know and their roles
  at the meeting to be explained
• Don’t
  be afraid to ask for any jargon or abbreviations to be explained
• Try
  to stay calm and polite. If you feel that you are getting upset or angry: ask
  if you could take a few minutes away from the meeting to collect your thoughts
  and emotions or spend a couple of moments going through your notes.
• Revisit
  your outcomes to see whether these have been addressed.
• At
  the end of the meeting summarise (or ask for someone else to) what has been
  agreed and what will happen next (with time frames)

After the meeting:

• When
  you get home, check and tidy up any notes you made, so that you can  refer to them in the future if necessary
• If
  actions were agreed, try and leave until the time agreed to see if the actions
  make any difference
• Keep
  a log of any incidents/ concerns that continue so that the actions/outcomes can
  be revisited at an appropriate time

Helpful Questions to ask in a
meeting

Communication
can be a complicated process, with use of language, tone, non-verbal signals,
engaged listening, often all being used at the same time. When we add emotions
or conflict to the mix there is more chance of that communication not working
in the way we want or need it to.

When
communication is used effectively; teamwork, decision making and problem
solving are improved and even negative or difficult messages can be
communicated without creating conflict or destroying trust. The following type
of questions used in your meeting can help with this:

Positive
opening…

• Tell me how well my child is doing in your
  class…
• What is my child good at?
• What are my child’s positive points…?
• What do you /others like about my child?

Showing
a willingness to work together….

• How can we help my child with
  improving on ______ together?
• How can we_______?
• What are your thoughts on______?
• It has been suggested that ______ can be
  helpful, can we try that?
• How can I support you in supporting my
  child?
• I have found _______ particularly helpful
  and I wanted to share this in case it’s helpful for you too. (you know your
  child best, feel free to share that knowledge)
• My child thinks __________ may help, would
  it be worth a try? (your child’s view is very important, if they can vocalise
  what might help this is very useful)

When
you are unsure about what has been said….

• What do you mean when you say ______?
• How does _____ relate to my child?
• I am not sure what you mean, please could
  you put that another way for me?
• Let me see if I understand you; do you mean
  _____ or _____?
• I am not sure how _______relates to our
  problem/discussion/issue, please can you explain that to me?
• Could you give me an example of what you
  mean / how that would look/ how that will work?
• Would _____ be a good example of that?

If
things aren’t moving in the direction you wanted you could try:

• Have you considered ______?( you can give an idea)
• My understanding is _______ .( especially helpful if you are certain of a fact and want to put this forward in a way that won’t create ill feeling)
• If you can’t do _________, what could you do instead?